Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
