I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
