2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
