mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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