You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
