just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize