I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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