ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
