Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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