Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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