We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
