Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
