i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize