Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize