My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
