YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
