Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize