Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
