Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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