Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
