Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
