I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
