I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
