woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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