Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
