Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my phone needs a breathalizer
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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