Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
