Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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