ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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