I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
