I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
