Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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