We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
