i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
