I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
