I think I died a long time ago.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
