Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
