This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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