i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
