his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When did angry sex become our thing?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize