We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
