i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
