Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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