ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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