im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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