he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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