i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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