You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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