why didn't you poke me back
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
