you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
3 2 1 whiskey
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
