I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
