Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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