There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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