How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
