What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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