Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You're like the curious george of whores
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
