Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
