The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
