what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
