Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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