She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
