as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
