we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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