would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
