We got so high we made milksteak
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
