..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
