I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
