I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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