This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
