You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize