I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
