My balls are so social today.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
