I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cut my penus on the lid.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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